[What's something harmless he can say? Something that he doesn't actually think of as too big of a secret, but one that he's been harbouring none the less. It's pretty strange, to think if it like that, after what Noel offered him, but...
Well. He doesn't know him all that well, yet.]
I'm actually afraid of going home, some days. I'm not really sure how much I want to leave this place, even though I also know I want to very badly.
[Not only for leaving the people here behind, but because that means he has to face the reality that he'd brought about back home too. It's scary, that prospect. Here? He's basically no one, even with as much power as he has.]
[He blurts it out almost automatically, with a tinge of judgment in his tone; Noel hasn't been here long enough to make a lasting connection, and with so much he needs to do in his own world, so many things waiting for him...
...
He can't keep up that biting look, though. Who's he to judge someone for finding a home? He was fully prepared to do the same, once he and Serah corrected the timeline. Settling down in a different time and place...didn't seem so bad, when everything was said and done. And-- he'd be singing a very different tune, too, if he'd never seen his own prophecy. Maybe he'd be happier to ride out the end of days in a place like this.
So his expression softens on an exhale.] ...No-- sorry. I can't say I get it, but everyone has their own reasons to feel whatever way about this place. [And to feel conflicted, too.] Sounds like you got something big waiting for you back home, though.
[Wow, judgey? But Kazuya can't blame him. There's plenty of people here who want to go home. He's one of them, a lot of the time. ]
It's not that I don't want to go home. It's just that I don't really know what I'm going home too. Things are a mess there for me, and this place is kind of like... A break, before I have to deal with that reality, you know? It gives me time to gather my thoughts and think about things, about what I should or shouldn't do when I finally do manage to make it back.
[It's not an easy thing to admit. But it is something he is admitting. A secret for a secret, and the constrictive feeling in his lungs does actually ease up, even if he feels awkward telling someone about something like this.]
And... There's people here who I like being around too. I've made friends here, ones that I won't be able to just see again so easily when I do leave.
[Okay, that part? That part, Noel understands. Brows pinched in a line, he sighs; whatever fight or judgment he had left about the confession disappears.]
Alright. I get that part. The mess.
[He's desperate to get home for a similar reason -- because Nova Chrysalia is done for, the end of days really is just days away, and even though his prophecy is supposed to make a new world possible...there's still that doubt. What if he fails? It wouldn't be the first time. What if Lightning is stronger than he thought? What if...what if...
He can't think about it right now.]
Must be hard. Thinking about losing friends if you leave.
It is... That's why I'm not too keen on leaving, just yet, at least. If the opportunity happens, then sure, I'll take it, but... I'd prefer to also at least say goodbye first.
[ Maybe that makes it harder, but at the same time, he knows there'd be regrets on his end if he'd somehow escaped this place without saying his goodbyes.
It'd be unbearable. It'd eat away at him, he knows it.]
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no subject
Well. He doesn't know him all that well, yet.]
I'm actually afraid of going home, some days. I'm not really sure how much I want to leave this place, even though I also know I want to very badly.
[Not only for leaving the people here behind, but because that means he has to face the reality that he'd brought about back home too. It's scary, that prospect. Here? He's basically no one, even with as much power as he has.]
no subject
[He blurts it out almost automatically, with a tinge of judgment in his tone; Noel hasn't been here long enough to make a lasting connection, and with so much he needs to do in his own world, so many things waiting for him...
...
He can't keep up that biting look, though. Who's he to judge someone for finding a home? He was fully prepared to do the same, once he and Serah corrected the timeline. Settling down in a different time and place...didn't seem so bad, when everything was said and done. And-- he'd be singing a very different tune, too, if he'd never seen his own prophecy. Maybe he'd be happier to ride out the end of days in a place like this.
So his expression softens on an exhale.] ...No-- sorry. I can't say I get it, but everyone has their own reasons to feel whatever way about this place. [And to feel conflicted, too.] Sounds like you got something big waiting for you back home, though.
[That part, he gets.]
no subject
It's not that I don't want to go home. It's just that I don't really know what I'm going home too. Things are a mess there for me, and this place is kind of like... A break, before I have to deal with that reality, you know? It gives me time to gather my thoughts and think about things, about what I should or shouldn't do when I finally do manage to make it back.
[It's not an easy thing to admit. But it is something he is admitting. A secret for a secret, and the constrictive feeling in his lungs does actually ease up, even if he feels awkward telling someone about something like this.]
And... There's people here who I like being around too. I've made friends here, ones that I won't be able to just see again so easily when I do leave.
no subject
Alright. I get that part. The mess.
[He's desperate to get home for a similar reason -- because Nova Chrysalia is done for, the end of days really is just days away, and even though his prophecy is supposed to make a new world possible...there's still that doubt. What if he fails? It wouldn't be the first time. What if Lightning is stronger than he thought? What if...what if...
He can't think about it right now.]
Must be hard. Thinking about losing friends if you leave.
no subject
[ Maybe that makes it harder, but at the same time, he knows there'd be regrets on his end if he'd somehow escaped this place without saying his goodbyes.
It'd be unbearable. It'd eat away at him, he knows it.]